9 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW IF YOU WANT TO MAKE IT WORK.
Let’s face it: if you’re not a dog person, you’d probably have a hard time trying to understand the affection we share with these cool beings. But chill. We (dog persons) do not expect you to. Actually, not so deep down we are very aware that the relationship without them can get a little far… Oh, and yes, there is not even a slight possibility to change this because they totally deserve that cool extra-large goose filled dog bed with built in Bluetooth and automatic belly scratcher.
And the fact they prefer to sleep in our beds, with us, doesn’t change a thing.
Chances are you’ll eventually date a dog lover some day if you haven’t yet. Therefore, as a dog lover and Casanova wannabe, I’ll help to make it work with this cool tips below.
1. WE. ARE. FAMILY… All my 17 dogs and me! (Yes…read it like you are singing the song)
For a dog person, the only difference between a human family member and their dog is….. fur! And, well… some weird toilette habits (sorry for bringing that up, Auntie Jenny!).
Don’t take any risks here. Whatever you do, never, and I mean never EVER say our dog is “just a dog”.
2. We let our dogs kiss us. Sometimes on the lips. Even if they go French kiss on us.
Studies revealed dog lovers are more immune to diseases and feel less smell. Although it’s probably not true (or is it?), it sure looks like that. Specially because butt licking and grass eating (just to name a few and keep some really nasty things out of this article) are not enough to stop us from kissing them.
Fur, along with drool, are the tradeoffs of the joy it is owning a dog. So if you’re very hairy and sleep with your mouth wide open, chances are you’d be a keeper, considering we rank fur and drool as “non negotiable minor inconveniences”. Lucky you, slob hairy!
3. We make funny voices to speak with our dogs. Regardless if it sounds pleasant or not.
If you have ever been around a group of cute babies in the park, then you know the drill! Talking to our dogs (note: it doesn’t matter the breed, size, age...) it’s pretty much the same. The task of keeping our voices “normal” when interacting with something so cute is unhuman, and most of the times we won’t even bother to try.
So, if you are dating a dog lover (I didn’t mention this before, but it works both for man and woman), make sure all that expensive champagne glasses you inherited from your grammy are safely stored. Why? Well, our voices may reach unimaginable octaves that could shatter glass.
Not to mention the fact we express words that haven’t yet been invented.
And this will go on for as long as that fluffy dog’s tail is wagging.
4. Our dogs come first. But you shouldn’t be jealous!
So you don’t understand why we have to cancel plans when our dogs are sick or feeling lonely (ok..that’s me)? I'll tell you why. As mentioned before, a dog is a like a family member. On the other hand, he won’t ever replace you, it doesn’t matter how good of a kisser he is (check number 2, please).
So, don’t be jealous. Be happy instead, because the fact we’re treating them so well goes to show you how well you’ll be tended to down the road.
5. We’re completely loyal
Owning a dog is waaaay different than owning a hamster, a gold fish or a hamster (unless he is Ratatouille. That’s some smart rat!).
When someone commits t with having a dog, he/she is also committing in taking care of something that requires much more attention and TLC than fore mentioned animals (Unless he is Ratatouille!). Dog lover will do it and do it well. Needless to say, you can expect the same for yourself.
6. We’re ready for long-term commitment
If you are a woman and you happen to be dating a dog lover man, go ahead… .Smile/
If you are a man and you happen to be dating a dog lover woman, go ahead….RUN TO THE HILLS!
Jokes aside, someone who has purchased (or even better, adopted) a puppy that will be loved and cared for its entire life, is announcing in loud voice that is ready for commitment.
7. Sometimes things get weird. Really weird
The wildest moments in the life of a dog lover are what I like to call “Moments of Truth”. It's like when you are passing through customs and choose not to declare all the cool high tech goods you’ve just bought… some will make it, some will not.
If you make it through a dog lover wild moments, then you’re ready!
Among other things, dog lovers wildest moments could be expressed by singing non-sense songs with “custom” lyrics we’ve created specifically for our buddies, by dancing around them saying things that we’d never dare say in public, etc.
Don’t fight the power. Join the nonsense and have fun!
8. Package Deal, baby! Package deal!
Make sure to love our dog as much as we do. Or at least pretend you do, because we (a dog lover and his dog) are like a package deal: you can’t get one without getting the other.
Do you know those movies where a girl falls in love with a boy in the exact moment her dad say to he doesn’t approve the relationship? So, with our dogs and our dates things work exactly the opposite!
To us, you liking our dog and our dog liking you back is mandatory. Actually, it is even more important than our parent’s impression of you. That can be easily worked.
9. We’re nurturers
Dog lovers feel some weird kind of happiness when their dog poops or eat. Also when they go walk them or take them to the vet. Myself, I feel like I am helping this being to grow healthy… I feel like I am doing my job, just like great parents might feel if their kid graduate from an Ivy League College or make it to the NBA (ok, that’s me again).
Of course dog lovers won’t clean your poo or take you to the vet (sorry again, Auntie Jenny) but they are certainly going to take very good care of you.
Written by Igor Nabhan
Zee.Dog's Strategic Imagineer,dog lover and afraid of guinea pigs, cats and hamsters (unless it is Ratatouille!)